What It Means and Looks Like To Love Yourself Every Day
Loving yourself isn’t easy. It requires work – the work to choose your best interests no matter how that choice feels. It’s not a matter of standing in front of the mirror and taking your best selfie or muttering sweet things to yourself in the hopes that you’ll feel better. It’s definitely not a matter of self-indulgence. In this article, I give a few examples of what it means and looks like to love yourself every day.
My own experience is shocking to me every time I recall the mixed feelings I had about myself growing up. I didn’t hate myself totally, but I also did not love myself totally, and that was a recipe for disaster. It took years of hard work, acceptance and a huge loss in my 30’s to finally make me fall in love with myself. And now a monster’s been created. Lol! I can’t get enough of me!!
What It Means To Love Yourself
Self-love is a matter of action, not hopeless words. In my last post, I outline six actionable ways to create a better relationship with yourself.
It is choosing to stay present with the pain at your center when you feel scared and alone, depressed and crying.
It is you choosing to be on your own side to heal rather than intellectualize and abandon your feelings.
It is choosing to stay the course of whatever path you’re on, instead of skipping out early because you’re bored or easily distracted.
It is choosing to avoid addictions rather than pretend they don’t exist.
Choosing the easy way reflects a lack of belief in yourself.
Why do you need it fast and easy if you can have the best through application and endurance?
Do you want the best for yourself? Or are you afraid to try?
What Loving Yourself Looks Like
Loving yourself is being self-disciplined every day.
It requires saying “No” to the little self-destructive choices that most people rationalize.
It’s choosing to exercise and to eat decently and to spend money wisely and to use self-restraint.
Loving yourself is thinking about the long-term effects of today’s decision, not just your immediate gratification. Loving yourself demands work and without that work, you really can’t make self-loving choices. Without committed self-discipline, self-love is meaningless.
“Self-love taught me that I could pour into myself just as much as I do others.
Self-love taught me that empathy, compassion, kindness, and showing up must start with me.
Self-love taught me that I do not have to lack in order to provide.” — Alexandra Elle
I’m not huge on Valentine’s Day, and that may not be you. In any event, I’m here bearing a gift of advice. Real love, true love begins with yourself first. And I’m not talking about the kind of selfish, narcissistic love that we see in one too many folks out here.
I’m talking about the love that encompasses tenderness, compassion, communication, vulnerability and understanding.
This LOVE is the kind you learn to give yourself first so that you’ll know what to expect from someone else.
It is also the kind of love when the time comes for you to share with someone else, you’ll give them 100% and more.
So this Valentine’s Day before you indulge in the romantic dinners and bearing flowers and chocolate, take a moment to show yourself some love first.
If you desire to start loving yourself more deeply, start by building your own Creative Wellness Toolbox. You can drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know how it goes for you! I’d love to connect with you.