What If Every Loss Is Leading You Down the Best Path?
What if…? What if everything that has happened in your life turned out to be for your greater good? Have you ever considered that all your disappointments, failures, setbacks, wrong turns might actually not have been the ‘wrong path’; that maybe your view of the ‘wrong path’ is just a skewed perspective that you conjure up because you didn’t get the exact outcome you wanted?
When faced with something painful, it’s so hard to see that pain as good. Psychologically, physically, emotionally, we’re hurting, and it’s almost impossible to find hope when uncertainty is staring us in the face. The pain we experience in life comes in waves, sometimes it’s unexpected, sometimes when we can feel it hitting us like a ton of bricks. It tries to break us permanently, but we are resilient and can fight back if we condition ourselves.
I am not going to tell you that conditioning is easy. It’s a mind game at best but if you understand that life is full of a series of wins and losses, it becomes easier. Unfortunately, we view all failure as something to avoid. When we lose someone, we all too often think of their life as having come to an end rather than the start of a new life and a reason for celebration. When we go through a breakup, we view our single status as though something is missing, as if we are out of order for choosing to focus on ourselves or vibrate higher. When we lose our jobs, we think it’s the end of the world, as if we haven’t built up enough experience that could be used elsewhere.
Traumatic experiences try to break us permanently but within lie packages of life lessons aimed at strengthening us and leading us to our true purpose, while revealing our power. Have you ever considered that maybe losing a parent helped you to fight harder to be successful and more independent? That possibly ending your marriage guided you to the love you deserve and now have? Perhaps falling allowed you to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and begin again with a new purpose and more passion?
I haven’t, especially when I lost my Mom. I couldn’t see beyond the pain and rollercoaster emotions. It took time and effort on my part – journaling, meditating, continually reaching for my happy place to eventually get there. A total mindset makeover! What if you started looking at what you go through in a different light. Perhaps it’s trusting that the universe does have your back and you need a trial or two to acknowledge that you don’t have it all together as you think you do.
Retrospectively, it’s about looking back and reminding yourself of how far you’ve come, of all the things you’ve gone through, of the way your wrong turns led you to right ones, or how your brokenness became healing when you let go and let fate guide you. It’s about believing that your loss isn’t meant to take away, but to bring you to where you’re supposed to be. I came to this conclusion late in my healing journey. I even wrote about in the last chapter of my book, Dancing At The Crossroad. Here’s what I said.
“I am the butterfly that had to emerge from the cocoon because my mother’s death allows me to have life. I understand now that I never really lost her.” Mellany Paynter, DATC
Pain is real, and all of it should be validated, but maybe it’s time to acknowledge that we do gather strength from it, and though debilitating, our ending doesn’t have to be detrimental. Who taught us that it was bad to lose and good to win, anyway?
If you’re tired of riding the emotional rollercoaster and want to understand your healing journey better, join me for a FREE webinar – Adapting To Life After Loss on November 27. Click HERE to register.